super secret musings

OK, so it's been ages since I posted. But not it's only 19 days till my beloved Office comes back. It's the only thing that makes below-zero temperatures in late March remotely bearable.

Hip hip hurray!

Wrote a bunch of letters today in support of my favourite script writers. I'm sad that "The Office" and "Heroes" won't be there to comfort me on Thursday and Monday every week, but I'm willing to give them up if it means that the writers who produce them are paid fairly for their creativity.

If you want to join in the fight, check out wga_supporters. The fine people there are helping fans like you and me support the writers we love in getting their fair share.

Icons and images below courtesy of lisahoo (first two) and very_improbable.

The week is winding down, and everyone is slowly unfurling as we tick down to 5:00. It's been a relaxed week, one where I didn't feel constantly behind the 8-ball. There aren't many of these weeks for me, so I feel particularly good as I luxuriantly read through the work in my inbox. And because I know next week will be the opposite side of the coin, I'm making the most of it.

Was thinking about life recently and wondering what the next step is. I have been at this job for about a decade, and the next step is not obvious. When I took this particular job ( a promotion a few years ago), I never thought about where it would lead when the shine wore off. It really was the ultimate goal I'd had for a long time. I don't think that I thought about there BEING a next step after this.

The frustrated writer in me wants desperately to be let out, but my doubts keeping getting the best of her. I puzzled a while about doing NaNoWriMo, but I can't even churn out a short story or a fanfic. I know the point of the exercise is to just do it (thanks, Nike), not worry about the outcome. But I don't think I even have the germ of an idea to get started with. Or rather, I don't have anything more than a germ of an idea. I started a page of notes and ideas, some plot points and a shallow outline of the structure of a novel I'd like to write, but I am not sure what the thread is that will draw it all together. But I suppose that just getting started would help jostle me into taking the next step and writing more.

I know the freelance world is a hard one to live in, and, frankly, the idea of churning out pages and pages of prose and constantly looking for markets for the bizarre thoughts in my head would be exhausting. I'm afraid that what little joy I do take in writing would be thoroughly sucked out if I made it the main focus of my work life. The obvious answer is to pay the bills mostly through editing, leaving me more time to write for projects I really enjoy. But that's a hard row, too. Though I could do that in my sleep.

Ah, well. Decisions, decisions.

Seriously, I hate all the garbage I have to deal with on a daily basis in my stupid job. The worst part? My job isn't really stupid. It's pretty fucking cool, actually. It's just not immune to the usual idiocy and petty intrigue that all jobs are prone to.

I actually get to do a lot of the things that I love to do: writing, messing with other people's writing, bossing people around, making sweeping statements about culture and "the reader" as if I'm omniscient... But somehow, it's the little details that I get the most hung up on. A Top 10 list, if you like that sort of thing, would go something like this:

Top 10 Things that Drive Me Absolutely Insane About People in the Workplace

1. They can't spell worth shit. And their grammar is atrocious.

2. They are late to every meeting. Every time. Even when you remind them.

3. They bicker constantly, especially when they are women. (And I should know; I am one.)

4. They have to convince you that you like what they want. You can never agree to disagree.

5. They ask you to eat shit with a smile.

6. They suck up shamelessly to people they don't respect at all.

7. They never plan ahead. Not ever.

8. They freak out when confronted with anything new/different/time-sensitive.

9. They always, ALWAYS want you to like them. Even though they hate you.

10. They are never satisfied with anything but will take everything you give them.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

It's good question; one I haven't really considered in great depth. I suppose this takes the place of the journal writing I did long ago when I was a depressed college student in ratty-kneed jeans. It feels good to write things down in a place where I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not. There's no work pressure, no expectations of what I should or shouldn't be. Plus, I guess the exhibitionist in me needs a place unleash all the stuff that's simmering below my mild-mannered exterior.

Plus, hell, I read too much fan fiction. I need something else to occupy my time.